Suddenly, just like a hot flush, menopause is the Big Hot News. Everywhere you look there are newspaper articles, tv shows and celebrities fanning themselves. If you are over the age of 45 then the algorithm will joyously send you ads for magic pills to shrink your tummy, gadgets to blitz your chin hairs and crystals to help you sleep and tone your lady bits. While this is a good thing – to finally have something out in the open, something that happens to half of our species, it is also laced with a dose of pathology. Menopause sells with blaring headlines with dreadful symptoms that must be controlled, and somehow it has become a thing to be “fixed”. The part that is often left out of the discussion is that it is a transition, a doorway that leads to a new phase of life. Like most transitions in life, it can be uncomfortable at times but ultimately rewarding.

My experience was baffling as I went into perimenopause much sooner than anyone ever had in my family. None of my circle of friends seemed to be having anxiety, palpitations, insomnia, weird sweaty eyeballs and fatigue. Asking a doctor for a hormone levels test to check resulted in me being told that “I was just worried about losing my looks”. That doctor learned some interesting new truths that I had discovered now came easily to my lips – one symptom that I was actively enjoying.

So, I pieced it all together for myself, I asked my body what it needed and listened. I read widely through medical sources to understand the biology of menopause, explored nutrition with herbalists such as Susun Weed and delved into my own training in homeopathy and yoga therapy. I asked older friends and yoga students to tell me their stories, because it was the lived experiences that I longed for. I started saying no to a lot of things – requests, invitations, expectations and assumptions. I said yes to myself for the first time in my life. Just a teensy bit more yes to me every time I said a no to something, someone or situation. I discovered I was actively enjoying the process and most of the symptoms subsided promptly.

What I learned is that I didn’t need magical pills, patches or creams to get me through this (although there is nothing wrong with saying yes to these things) and thankfully I didn’t need a chin hair gadget! What I needed was a magical recipe of Yoga Nidra, community, space to be me and nourishing herbs.

The Red Hot Bitches is a monthly gathering to help you navigate your way through your transition. While there is no definitive blueprint for menopause, these sessions offer a map of possibilities, with simple tools to support you, wherever you might be on the pathway. To sit in a circle of belonging with others who are in transit and those who have reached the shores of Second Spring is a real homecoming. I offer these sessions so that nobody else ever has to forge a path alone as I did. Come and join us and cackle. There is much joy and hilarity in waking up to who you are.

Red Hot Bitches meets monthly, and you can attend in person or via zoom. Each session discusses a phase of perimenopause, the yogic tools you can use for support through this phase, a sharing circle, Yoga Nidra, and as always herbal tea and cake. Dates/further info are here and you can book in here

Our next session is Thursday May 2nd 7-8.30pm.